Folgers coffee company manages to arrange a meeting with the Pope at the Vatican.
After receiving the Papal blessing, the Folgers official whispers 'Your
Eminence, we have an offer for you. Folgers is prepared to donate $100
million to the church if you change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
The Pope responds, 'That is impossible. The prayer is the word of the Lord. It must not be changed.'
'Well,' said the Folgers man, 'we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason we will increase our offer to $300 million.'
'My son, it is impossible. For the prayer is the word of the Lord and it must not be changed.'
The Folgers guy says, 'Your Holiness, we at Folgers respect your
adherence to the faith, but we do have one final offer…. We will
donate $500 million - that's half a billion dollars - to the great
Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'give us
this day our daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily coffee.'
Please consider it.'
And he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. 'There is some good news,' he announces, 'and some bad news. The good news is that the Church will come into $500 million.'
'And the bad news your Holiness?' asks a Cardinal.
As a matter of conscience, and not of contention: We are against the ecumenical movement; we are against hyper-Calvinism; we are against hyper-dispensationalism; we are against modern 'bible' versions (NKJV, NIV, NASV, ESV, etc.); we are against the world, the flesh, and the devil; we are against contemporary Christian musick; we are against Roman Catholicism; we are against Protestantism; we are against Baptist Briders; we are against the Charismatic movement; we are against Jehovah's (false) Witnesses; we are against the Mormon cult; we are even against ourselves most of the time (see Romans 7:14-25).
We are for the King James Bible; we are for Israel; we are for rightly dividing the word of truth; we are for tried and true hymns; we are for sound doctrine; we are for separation; we are for street preaching, tract distribution, soul winning, etc; and we are for the rapture and the second coming of Jesus Christ.
0 comments:
Post a Comment